Monday, May 19, 2008

Everything's Coming Up Milhouse!

Recipe for a great day:

-Wake up at 10:00.
-Go to a coffee shop. Procure beverage and pastry (I recommend chai and scone, cranberry if available).
-Read The Code of the Woosters.
-Walk home listening to The Band ("Ain't Got No Home" suggested).
-Enjoy beautiful weather.
-Ponder drinking later in the day

So far, that's all I've got. I may factor in a walk later, or possibly some other Wodehouse. What I'm not doing, at all, is working. And it's really paying off.

That is all.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

It's Amazing How Spending Money Can Make Things Better

This past week or so has been excellent, for a number of reasons. Many of them are alcohol-related. A few are work-related. But by and large, they have to do with money.

With the department follies / Red-Headed Stepchild's birthday celebration last Friday, and Standard's one-act reading on Tuesday, there's been a significant increase in my getting drunk on various days that end with "y," and I must say, I'm a fan of the trend. Plus, I can't remember the last time I got drunk on a Tuesday. But let me tell ya, I'm glad it's coming back into style. Also great, so I've discovered, is showing up to a bar already drunk. You totally miss out on that early awkward phase where it's noisy and you're not quite comfortable yet yelling at the people across from you. Plus, you save money that way (or spend more because you aren't accountable for your actions).

As for work, I really haven't done a lot of that recently. Been meeting with students and helping them with their papers a lot, true. But largely, I've just been lazy. After the conference, I really couldn't bother myself with that whole dissertation thing.

Instead, I spent my time far more productively reading The Zombie Survival Guide, which is incredibly fun, if a little scary at just how in depth he goes. I can totally see some paranoid nuts out there actually buying land up to prepare for the zombie apocalypse after reading this book. Of course, when the zombie masses do rise up to slaughter us, I guess they'll be the ones laughing.

Well, them and me, because I've read the book. So I feel qualified now to easily hold out at least several weeks, should the situation arise.

So, in essence, fuck you, zombies. I won't play your game.

With the recent return of my hard-earned tax money and the promise of an economic stimulus check to come, I've spent an egregious amount of money in the past few days, largely on frivolities designed to amuse me. Saw Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanimo Bay, and would recommend it to anyone who liked the first movie. Also saw Iron Man, which I would recommend for anyone who likes kickass stuff. Seriously. It's a great comic book movie, a really great action movie in general, and Robert Downey Jr. is just pitch perfect. Plus, it's really a nice departure from the traditional comic book movie where the hero has a dark, tragic past, or is some kind of loser, or who is always tormented and torn about living a normal life, blah blah blah. Tony Stark is having a blast as a superhero, and it's fuckin' great to watch.

Of course, Quantum will be the first to point out that the tragic, brooding hero was in turn a nice departure from the old school superheroes, who had no personality at all and no real problems. But after Spiderman, Batman, the Hulk, the X-Men, etc., the trend of the tragically torn superhero/flawed human in comic book movies has really gotten kind of repetitive. Iron Man just does away with that nonsense, and I kinda love it for that.

Though it did make me realize I miss seeing comic movies with Quantum and the gang. Nothing like having a bona fide comic book expert in your circle to really enhance the viewing experience.

Finally, I have at last joined the 21st century and bought myself an ipod. And let me tell you, that thing is going to be the death of me. You'll find me on the streets, cold, alone, and destitute, but with 80GB worth of itunes. I can tell already. I may have to start selling blood to feed my itunes addiction.

But at least I don't have to carry around my discman anymore. So I got that going for me.

In conclusion, consumerism rocks and is a great way to both assuage a hangover and make you enjoy life more in every possible way. Especially if you combine the consuming of alcohol with the consuming of material goods to distract from the aftereffects of alcohol.

Friday, May 02, 2008