Friday, March 10, 2006

They Made One for Me...

...One for Steven Spielberg, and then they shot the guy who made them!

The above quote is from a brilliant Simpsons parody of Alec Baldwin in Glengary Glen Ross. Other brilliant lines include: "You see this watch? It's so encrusted with jewels that the hands can't move!" and "Life is hard, right? Wrong! Life is easy, you suck!" The reference has bearing on what follows, so keep it in mind.

I just discovered that, in the comments on one of my earliest ramblings, someone has anonymously posted a link to a self-help website. Apparently my blog has such a critical mass of readership that I am now worthy of spam advertisement. Inspired by this nameless wretch, I offer my own self-help program. Step 1: Write me a check. Step 2: I cash the check and spend it. Step 3: You feel better about yourself for helping the poor and less fortunate.

The brilliance is in the simplicity. And the free money.

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